JANUARY 14, 2011 SELF ESTEEM

"Success doesn't come to you...you go to it."
- Marva Collins -

"Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things." --Winston Churchill

"Success comes not from the avoidance of failure. Most of the time, success is achieved only when there has been enough failure."- Unknown Author -

What is the definition of self esteem? Self-esteem is a term used in psychology to reflect a person's overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs for example, "I am competent;" and emotions such as triumph, despair, pride, anger, happiness and shame. The key to happiness and success is building your self esteem and self confidence . According to Dr. Nathaniel Branden, self esteem is the experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges and of being worthy of happiness. Are you worthy of happiness? In the past I thought I was not worthy of happiness.


I do know that self-esteem is crucial during your childhood and teenage years. In my clinical experience, I do believe that childhood can make or break your self esteem. It has nothing to do with wether your parents showered you with gifts or not. I actually see some adults who had "sliver spoon" childhoods have very low self esteem despite the fact that he/she may be a successful adult. Even those with high self esteem during their teen years can have problems in adult years, except to a less extent. The process of building self esteem can be difficult, but I want to make it simple. As you increase self esteem through a hobby, the question is can you sustain and maintain a healthy self esteem. To keep the self esteem you acquire through a hobby you must:

1. Forgive yourself for your mistakes
2. Let Go
3. Celebrate the strengths and achievements in your life
4. Do not dwell on failure; learn from your failures
5. Realize that berating yourself about your weaknesses is self defeating
6. Talk to yourself in a positive way; Use a mantra in the morning to boost yourself
7. Stop putting yourself down
8. Do not judge yourself by comparing yourself to others


All diseases can be modified or changed if we have a better dietary lifestyle and exercise change. I do believe in 7 lifestyle changes. 1. Dietary 2. Exercise 3. Addictions 4. Meditation 5. Self Esteem 6. Anger/Resentment and 7. Self Love. Throughout the blog I have discussed 1 - 7. I now want to discuss Self Esteem and Hobbies every Friday. Over the last fifteen plus years in practice, I have found that many individuals use exercise as their hobby. Exercise is part of a Lifestyle change. Self esteem can be improved through doing a Hobby. Those who either know me personally or have discussed your health with me, know I am the King of Hobbies. Some may say that doing my knitting and needle craft work -I am the Queen of Hobbies. I want you to realize and understand that knitting or needle craft work is not limited to females. Certain personalities are drawn to certain hobbies. For example if you are dexterous, meticulous and artistic you might like building model ships and airplanes or even silk screening. If you are nature-loving, outdoorsy and independent you might like bird watching, bee keeping, wild crafting herbs and gardening.


Do some of your character traits match any of these hobby ideas? Think about your character traits. We can call these your personality traits! Some of mine are adventurous, meditative, nature loving and nurturing. Oh yes, and crafty!
Some of my hobbies are gardening, herbs, bee keeping (haven't started yet), needle crafting, card making and knitting.
Do you have a hobby?


Which of these character traits describe you?
1. musical
2. independent
3. social
4. outdoorsy
5. nature loving
6. technical
7. sporty
8. extroverted

Here are some hobbies we will discuss on future Fridays
1. Candle making
2. African violet growing
3. Bee keeping
4. Airplane Models
5. Ant Farms
6. Pottery/ Ceramics
7. Glassblowing
8. Painting
9 Rubber stamping
10. Card making
11. Flower arranging
12. Cooking
13. Horticulture
14. Growing Orchids


For you men, if Cary can knit why can't you...