" A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down." Arnold Glasow
What is a true friend ? For me, a true friend is my partner. I hope that your true friend is your partner, your wife, or your husband. Putting the partner(s) aside not everyone has a true friend. If are fortunate to have a true friend, the quote by Glasow is so true. For me, my true friend of 16 years is there in good and bad times. He has taught me perseverance. Perseverance is persistence in the face of adversity, and the determination never to give in. We have taught each other that perseverance is belief. To persevere, you must believe in yourself. We all need that extra boost, and a true friend can tell you like it is. First, we tell each other that each of us MUST have the unshakable conviction that you deserve to succeed. Second, perseverance is self love. To persevere, you must have self love necessary to withstand any number of defeats and turndowns. We tell each other that each of us are worthy people, despite any temporary lack of success. I happen to be the most blessed as I have a live in true friend, my partner, Rick when my best best true friend is not around. I am also blessed to have the 12 step program as my friend.
Third, perseverance is forgiveness. To persevere we each tell the other, that you must be able to forgive yourself. Finally above all perseverance is enthusiasm. This is essential. Everyone needs a bountiful supply of enthusiasm. Who better to provide that enthusiasm than your best friend. So put it all together, - belief, self love, forgiveness and enthusiasm--the four key ingredients of perseverance. A best friend is there to help you with courage, determination and patience to never give in.
I thought I had true friends in grammar school, middle school, high school and even college. Where are they now ? On Facebook.com or classmates.com ! How vulnerable I was to think some were true friends-- yet mere acquaintances. This can even happen in adulthood, but to a less degree. You will learn to "weed out' the takers. I have not only 'weeded out' the acquaintances, but two other true friends taught me about the freezer. Have gratitude if you have a true friend. True friends do not grow on trees.
My definition of a "true friend" is imaging both singing the tune Bosom Buddies from Mame with one portraying Vera Charles ( Bea Arthur) and the other as Mame Dennis ( Angela Lansbury).
No only a true friend can tell you frankly my dear, " You are getting fat" Will you be explosive or calm. My father had a habit of always telling someone if they gained weight. He didn't care if you got angry. He then would say, "Look at me" He never mentioned if you lost weight or you look good. Only about your weight. Lets start where you buy your food. The Market. Where is the market do you shop first ? Is is the perimeter of store or the center. For those that shop in the perimeter, you are getting your fruits, vegetables, meat, fish, and dairy. For those that shop in the center, you are getting the processed foods. Who will gain more weight ? The latter. Lets go deeper. What led you to the perimeter or the aisle ? Was it was the color display pr the sign that said 'Sale'?
Advertising does help with you eating less. There are strategies that make you eat more. Marion Nestle discussed them in 'What You Eat' You will eat More even if you do not need it because of the following.
1. Convenience - if easier to take with you , you will eat more
2. Proximity - if food is easier to get, you will eat more than if harder to get
3. Variety- if different types of food are available, you will eat more. Ms. Nestle labeled this as the 'buffet syndrome'
4. Larger Portions- the more food in front of you, the more you will eat
5. Lower prices- if the cost is cheaper , you will eat more
All of this makes sense when you read it. I do believe that the food industry wants to make more money, but at what expense. Ads, aisle displays and prices in any supermarket do not encourage you to eat less. Why would they ! You might not even notice these subtle changes in your market. Take a look next time you are shopping. I will guarantee once you start looking around your market, your food choice will become clearer. Your choices will be better. Another example of perseverance !
BOSOM BUDDIES BY Jerry Herman
We'll always be bosom buddies,
Friends, sisters and pals;
We'll always be bosom buddies,
If life should reject you,
There's me to protect you.
If I say that your tongue is vicious,
If I call you uncouth;
It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy
Will sit down and tell you the truth.
Tho' now and again I'm aware that my candid opinion may sting,
Mame:
Tho' often my frank observation might scald;
I've been meanin' to tell you for years
You should keep your hair natural like mine.
If I kept my hair natural like yours, I'd be bald.
But darling,
We'll always be dear companions,
My crony,
My mate;
We'll always be harmonizing,
Orphan Annie and Sandy,
Like Amos and Andy.
If I say that your sense of style's as far as off as your youth;
It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy
Will tell you the whole stinkin' truth.
Each time that a critic has written, "Your voice is the voice of a frog!"
Straight to your side to defend you I rush;
You know that I'm there ev'ry time that the world makes and unkind
remark.
When they say "Vera Charles is the world's greatest lush!"
It hurts me!
And if I say your fangs are showing,
Mame, pull in your claws,
It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy
Will notice the obvious flaws!
I feel it's my duty to tell you it's time to adjust to your age;
You try to be "Peg O' My Heart", when you're "Lady Macbeth."
Exactly how old are you, Vera? The truth!
Well, how old do you think?
I'd say somewhere in between forty and the death!
But sweetie,
I'll always be Alice Toklas,
If you'll be Gertrude Stein.
And tho' I'll admit I've dished you,
I've gossiped and gloated,
But I'm so devoted.
And if I say that sex and guts made you into a star,
It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy
Will tell you how rotten you are.
Just turn your bosom buddy
For aid and affection,
For help and direction,
For loyalty, love and for sooth!
Remember that who else but a bosom buddy
Will sit down and level
And give you the devil,
Will sit down and tell you the truth!
Until tomorrow...
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