"It is better to live one day wisely and reflectively than to live a hundred years in ignorance and indulgence." --Buddha
How true is that. I live one day at a time, but the above quote is a blessing. I remember when I wanted one day sober rather than months of misery. Now, all I have today is sober days...most of them filled with love, happiness and serenity. Now do not misunderstand me every day is not a bowl of cherries, but all is manageable. Are your days manageble? If a day becomes unmanageable, I start the day over. I knew today would be a long tiring day, but I prepared myself. A good night sleep, only 2 pages of reading, 5 to 6 stitches and a morning of meditation. I am prepared (The Boy Scout Motto-I was an Eagle Scout). Early in recovery I wished to be a busy doctor--hospital rounds, stress tests, and patients. I should have been careful what I prayed for, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I feel this way because I love what I do. I found my purpose in life. I was guided by God.
I have always admired music, lyrics and nostalgic or classic movies. I think you have probably noticed that in the last few months. I earned my Gay Card when it comes to movies and the theater. Some songs strike a chord. Songs of struggle and pain, some with a happy ending, and some without a happy ending. Struggle, hard times and heartbreak are often regarded as key components in artistic success stories. Paying the dues, so to speak, which suggests hardship, helps mold the artist, according to the old adage. It also helped me mold the clear minded, sober man I am today. Look at yourself. What are your struggles? Try to help yourself overcome them. As my dad used to say, "Shit, or get off the pot!" Stop with the self-pity and self-loathing.
And so it was with Charles Aznavour, a wisp of a man with a hoarse voice, and what ultimately proved to be immense songwriting skills. When most children at 9 were listening to Jefferson Starship, The Who, and The Beatles I was listening to Peggy Lee, Charles Aznavour and Judy Garland. I would pop my parent's 78 rpms on my tiny record player and disappear into fantasy. I had the honor and delight to see Charles Aznavour on many occasions. I have introduced his music to my friends.
Aznavour, will always be regarded as one of France's great songwriters and musical performers, taking his rightful place with Chevalier and Piaf as one of the most acclaimed French artists in the United States, and yes, the entire world as well. I love many of his songs. Below is a 1970 favorite (I changed some of the lyrics to suit my life)
IT WILL BE MY DAY -
At eighteen I grew restless for the city
I'd see its lights that beckoned from afar
I packed my dreams, assured I'd be successful
I'd read my books I soon become a star
I needed clothes to make the right impression
I bought a suit, the finest tailor-made
Had an act, then designed, with the gentlemen in mind
Endure the debt I felt would be repaid
I dreamed I would be emblazoned in neon
The biggest, the best, above all the rest, wherever I'd practice
I dreamed I would be acknowledged the greatest
The cream of the crop, it's good at the top, I was there to stay
The loveliest boys would gather around me
With photos to sign, they all would be mine for less than a smile
My curtain would cue, resounding ovations
Their deafening roar would ring out for more, I'd go off in style"
The older that I become, my features are aging
My doctoring is still there, my gesture's precise, my talent would glow
At times I've had bitterness, for nothing has happened
I've struggled and strived, but never arrived, and I'm still unknown
And yet, yet I believe that my time is coming
If given the breaks, I've got what it takes to go all the way
Then under my feet the medicine stage would be pulsing
Finally I'd be there in the spotlights glare, it would be my day
For thirty years it's been an endless circle
I've made the rounds, they always look the same
I practice my medicine. but people seldom listen
They never care, for they don't know my name
To keep alive, I've written books and articles
I have no choice, I take what I can find
Sleazy days,little pay, easy boys, , sleep all day
But in my dreams, I leave it far behind
I dreamed that I'll be relating the story
Of how I prevailed when I should have failed, in my quest for fame
I dreamed I would be enjoying my leisure
Taking life in stride, a man by my side, wild from the game
On my opening a office, I'll calmly be reading
The thousands of words from those who admire my standing alone
The stage light would dim, the moment would quicken
My heart in my throat,seeing the first patient, I'd be on my own
I tried to find a gimmick, to lift me from darkness
I've sung about herbs, I've ?????? songs, a bad case or two
If everything fails and I'm left in the shadows
The fault will be mine, I asked for a second chance, and everything came through
I have many to thank, for all have offered
To give me a hand, or take any stand, that's out of their way
But deep in my heart, I know, I know that I have it
And I'll get my due life and start anew, it will be my day
Back to the heart...
The most common valvular problem in old age is aortic valve disease. The aortic valve is one of four valves that control the flow of blood into and out of the heart. In particular, the aortic valve controls the flow of oxygenated blood pumped out of the heart from the left ventricle into the aorta, the main artery leading to the rest of the body. If the valve is abnormally narrow (aortic stenosis), the heart must work harder for a sufficient amount of blood to be pumped with each beat.
Aortic stenosis refers to the process of thickening and stiffening in the valve. The valve itself, however, may continue to function adequately for years, with nothing more than a heart murmur heard by the physician on examination with a stethoscope. The murmur is caused by turbulence of blood passing through the valve. In aortic stenosis, the aortic valve becomes narrowed and blocked by hard, calcified deposits, or in some people, from rheumatic fever years earlier. This condition is present in about 4 percent of all elderly people.
Severe aortic valve stenosis can cause fainting (because of impaired blood flow to the brain across the narrowed valve); heart failure and shortness of breath (when the heart's muscle becomes unable to pump blood in a forward direction through narrow opening); and chest pain (because of increased work and a lack of sufficient oxygen reaching heart muscles).
Aortic valve disease can be congenital, result from infection, occur as a result of rheumatic heart disease, result from the processes of aging, or be of unknown origin. It usually does not cause any symptoms in its early stages. As the problem progresses, it may produce shortness of breath, angina (chest pain), light-headedness, dizziness, and even fainting, especially upon exertion. Many elderly people with aortic stenosis remain free of symptoms.
Most cases of aortic valve disease can be diagnosed by a physical examination, during which a characteristic heart murmur may be detected. A chest X-ray, an electrocardiogram (EKG, to determine whether the heart is enlarged), and an echocardiogram (ultrasound study of heart muscle and valves) also may be done.
I recommend medications, supplements and herbs to control blood pressure and will discuss with you the range of blood pressure that will be beneficial for your specific condition. I do limit strenuous activity if you have aortic stenosis.
If symptoms are present or there is severe ventricular dysfunction (ejection fraction is decreased) with either stenosis (tightness) or regurgitation (leaky), surgery to repair, or more likely replace, the defective valve often will be recommended. Remember the Kay Kyser song, Slow Boat to China from the blog the other day!
If you have aortic valve disease, you need to ask some questions:
1. Can aortic valve disease be detected early enough to eliminate the need for surgery?
2. What is the difference between a heart attack and aortic valve disease?
3. What is cardiac catheterization or angiogram?
4. Are there any medications that will help manage this condition?
5. If surgery is recommended, what type of valve will you be using to replace the defective valve?
6. Do I need a mechanical valve or a pig valve?
7. Do I have to remain on a blood thinner for my whole life?
Until tomorrow...
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